Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I randomly feel really inspired... I think its the fact that Im back on lj more, and looking at thinspo more and reading how everyone is doing so much. I wanna do more.. I'm definitely in the process of trying to find a better job after reading one girl's entry about trying to get a spot as a manager in a store... Before I didn't have a bachelors and I make about $27k or so a year... now i have a Bachelor's... I should definitely be worth at least a few thousand dollars more a year now!

I want to try for a Master's.. or do whatever it takes to put me in the position to pursue one...

and most of all I'm ready to get the body I always wanted. I cannot believe how I used to be... I tried so hard and got so ... well.. NOWHERE... I'd always gain it back. I still worry about purging. And sometimes I can just FEEELLL myself about to binge. I miss the emptiness I would feel after laxatives. I just know those things don't fit into the future i want to make for myself... thin, successful, AND HEALTHY!

I WAS gonna go try to find some new thinspo.. but its my bf's poker nite, so I'll have at least 4 hours to do that lol... so tomorrow will be some fresh pix... I really wish i could find more REAL BLACK GIRL thinspo... It seems all i can find is celebrity or model black thinspo.. i wanna see regular black girls... like me..

I'm going to NYC for a music festival labor day weekend and i want to be THINNNNN... I'm 108 as of last weigh in (before i got my period and got BLOATED LIKE A MUTHER) and I'm not sure if I'll weigh in this sat (depends if i'm over my "visitor" or not)... but I am shooting for 98 lbs!! Yes... I want to be 98 lbs by labor day weekend!

I'm really craving some knee high boots... and I'd love to be skinny enough to rock some with shorts at the festival!!

Tues
  • B: banana
  • S: 2 vegan/organic Late July cookies (110)
  • S: apple
  • L: WENDY'S ckn nuggets (230)
  • S: So Delicious vegan coconut milk yogurt (140) + organic grapes and organic blueberries
  • D: Chinese -- chicken with brocoli + pork fried rice (~600)
  • S: 4 Newman's own dairy/wheat free cookies (260)
  • TOTAL:: ~1340
I didn't go to the gym yesterday cuz i felt bad... but i don't care.. today i feel better and I'm about to go HARD at the gym and move on!
to motivate me for the festival... PARTY GIRLS and RAVE girl thinspo! I'll be finding new stuff tonite :)

1
thinspo,party,legs,back

2
thinspo,brunette,party,jeans

3
party,bffs,stomach,stomach,blonde,brunette,hipbones,legs,arms,thinspo

4
couple,scene,party,arms,back,brunette

5
party,thinspo,bffs,legs,back

6
thinspo,stomach,bffs,party,waist,hipbones

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bffs,party,arms,thinspo,hipbones,brunette,blonde

8
party,blonde,thinspo,stomach

9
party,brunette,legs,arms,stomach,thinspo

10
thinspo,blonde,dress,legs,waist,stomach,collar bones,party
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 5, 2009 at 5:48 PM

    you always post such kick ass thinspo! :)
    ugh it makes me wanna be skinny so bad.

    98 lbs.. wow. how tall are you girl?
    and i totally know what you mean about the black girl thinspo.. like i always try to post pics for everyone. scene, asian, model, real girl, boys, muscles, everything.. and you're right, there is like zero real girl black thinspo. ive found a couple, they are gonna be in my next post. this girl has LEGGGGGGGS and beautiful skin. makes me jealous. but sounds like you are doing awesomeeeee. :) i cant wait to lose some weight finally!

    ReplyDelete
  2. barbiegirl_99August 7, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    hey :)

    I'm so confused on blogger lol! I do not know how to add people or search for interests or anything! you gotta teach me!

    I'm 5 feet and 1.5 inches... and I'm at 108 and I still could lose like 20 and not look sick I think... but again... could be psycho perfectionist ED-NOSy me not realizing I'd probably look sick... hmmm...

    but yeahhhh what do you think 5feet 1.5 inch.. 98 or 88?

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