Tuesday, August 4, 2009

So I'm going to make this my intro-- a little about me. I'm 23 years old. 5 foot 1.5 inches. Black female, dating a white male. I like fashion, music, partying... you know the good stuff!

I've struggled with my body image for the longest. The best way for me to describe it is the moment I remembered most as the moment that changed everything...

I was in the 2nd grade and my friend said that I looked pregnant in a shirt i was wearing. I had always sort of been competitive with this girl... she was sooo pretty.. we were both short... we both loved the same things... and her calling me pregnant hurt more than anything. She thought I was fat... and I had to do something about it...

so that moment has lead to fasting, binging, purging, self hate, hiding in my clothes, hiding from the world, fad diets, laxatives, and... pretty much an ED-NOSy lifestyle...

I used to be a size 0. By December 2008 I was a size 2/4 and about 140 lbs. I knew I had to do something. the purging, the laxing, the fasting... wasn't really doing anything after about a decade of it, I guess it started to backfire on me.

Last spring 2009, I decided I wanted to be healthy. I made and still make a few mistakes ( few binges, few purges, few laxes) but I cut my self down to 108 lbs (as of last weigh in) and none of my size 2's fit anymore :)

I decided my main goal would be to hit 99 lbs or to be a size 0. Whatever is the hardest. I have finally committed myself to.. MYSELF... and I know I can be the skinny girl I want to be if I work at it.

I use Barbie as a "muse"... she has it all. She's got her boy, she's got her career(s!), she's got her clothes, she's got her hair, her style, her fashion... SHE HAS HER EVERYTHING TOGETHER... and she's got a body so perfect its plastic ;-)

I want to be someone's Barbie... I want to be someones thinspo!


    im following you now! <3 thanks for coming to the blogsphere. i will mention you in my next post so you can get some followers
    love ya!

  2. Hey welcome! xthinforever brought me here =) your blog looks great so far and wow you have come a long way. I hope you like it here and continue to post ^^

  3. Please don't become a fake barbie girl. Size 0 is gross skeleton looking shit. You girls and you body image. I'm a big guy (now) I use to be slim I weighs 220lbs and was mostly muscle though I had a bit of a belly, not much though. Just enough to keep me from a six pack yet not enough to make me look fat. Now I'm much bigger, 280 lbs. But thats a loss if over 100+ lbs as I was almost 400 lbs just a few years ago. See I was a construction worker and I injured my back and was unable to walk or exercise fir more than a year, almost two. I got real depressed when I had to wear size 54 waist jeans. I'm now back to a 44 and hope to get back to 36-40's. I think I must have Norse DNA because I'm built like a Viking. I just want you to know that being healthy and happy are far better than being too skinny.